Welcome to Schlaples, How May I Help You

There will likely be a sizeable and hopefully entertaining post airing here in a short while, but for the time being it would appear that I have hit a bit of a lull. Last week, I was hired at…a big-box office supply retailer, which will heretofore be referred to as “Schlaples.” Thankfully, although I got the news on the 24th, I was not sprung onto the floor untrained on Black Friday in a sadistic endurance test (which I would no doubt have failed; I suspect I would have been found attempting to hide inside of a filing cabinet while sobbing into a 2010 day planner). Instead, I’ll be starting on December 7th. This new part-time position also comes with an added twist; I was hired to work at their tech-support desk, which I assume is their version of the Geek Squad. I’ll be attempting to job shadow my computer-expert boyfriend this week in an effort to figure out exactly what boneheaded user problems I can expect from people who have their computers serviced at Schlaples. Doused your hard drive with Red Bull to make it run faster? Having trouble checking your email on your VCR? Let’s hope that easy button is the detonation system for some low-grade explosives.

This is a particularly good final week to be only partly employed, as I’ve got a birthday on Wednesday, an anniversary on Thursday, and probable out-of-town guests on the weekend. I hope at some point to roast a turkey, as I’d already structured half a dozen meals around leftovers which never materialized. Last but certainly not least, on Sunday I’ll be attending one of the best musicals about semi-unemployment, Avenue Q.

Have a good week, guys; barring unforeseen catastrophes or stupefyingly good news, I’ll see you back here after the 7th.

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