I’m the Grammarian Himmler

So as you can see last night I deployed a shiny new theme, which is very pretty and makes my pointless blither and whining look somehow professional. However, there now appears in the bottom right corner a bit of sideways text — turn your face to the right, and it reads “RETURN TOP.”

WHY? What’s wrong with a little preposition now and again? Would that minuscule, monosyllabic “to” really throw off the chi of the theme? “RETURN TOP” isn’t even a good command, if you’re going to make the argument for eliminating parts of speech for clarity*; it sounds as though the website is commanding you to return a child’s toy or a lid of some variety. And I must righteously refuse.

*I am willing to concede that “RETURN TO THE TOP OF THE PAGE” is a tiny bit cumbersome, but there is a friendly middle ground.

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    • Nikko
    • January 26th, 2010

    Can’t you just edit the hypertext to add that bothersome preposition?

    In any case, I’m not sure why it’s there as in Chrome, Firefox, and IE it doesn’t seem to Return Top so much as Advance ~10% Closer Top.

    • antoinette jeanine
    • January 26th, 2010

    In order to edit any of the source code, I’d have to upgrade to a paid WordPress subscription. It’s probably $10/year, but on my salary that’s a whole meal. I suppose this opens an interesting question on the worth of words: is one measly preposition worth $10?

    • Nikko
    • January 27th, 2010

    Perhaps not, but here you’ve got one preposition AND one instance of poor coding.

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