Archive for the ‘ Spam ’ Category

Spam: Now With 90% More Attitude

This is not actually the first time I’ve gotten this passive-aggressive spammy screed.

Hello,

I saw your post on Craigs about your services, and wondered if you could join us in doing fellow writing professionals a favor.

Since you’re offering ‘writing services’, I hope you help us with a simple yes/no poll.
Recently, legislation has been proposed in several states to ask that ALL writing professionals who fail to report their income on their taxes, be tried as felony criminals.

Do you agree with this? Please let your opinion be heard:
Go to this page and vote your choice. You will be compensated for your
answer
Go here:

[website]

Vote, and enter your information afterward to receive a ‘thank you’ reward for voting.
Thanks for helping our cause.

Steve

The first time I got it, I stared at it in blinking disbelief for a few moments and then deleted it out of sheer incredulity, without thinking of preserving it for posterity.

It’s actually kind of a masterpiece of manipulation. I don’t know how many writing professionals ol’ Steve gets to click the link, but he did spur me to consult with a tax professional. Good job, Steve! IRS should hire you to scare the underpaid into forking over their measly pennies. FELONY CRIMINALS? Really, Steve? That’s how you’re going to play this?

But, Steve’s right — we writing professionals need to stick together. That’s why I’m going to march over to Springfield this afternoon and personally hand a government official $5.32. That should about cover taxes for my editing income.

Thanks, Steve. Good to know you’ve got my back.

Not This One.

Hey! I liked you’r ad on craigs list and you’r listing caught my eye 🙂
I’am 133pounds at 5’5 with blonde hair, I love to go on hikes.
I’am using my friends e-mail though, so you’r gonna have to e-mail me back at: amanda141@jessicac2c.com
Not this one.

Talk to you soon,
-Amanda

Dear Amanda,

In contradiction to popular belief, my editing services don’t actually have a height/weight/hair color requirement.

Thanks for playing, though.

-Antoinette

All You Need Is Spam

Christ on a cracker. It never ends with these “people.”

Hey,

I saw your ad that you posted on 10/7/2009.

First, let me start off by saying that I hope that you had good luck with your “Paper Editing Services (Champaign-Urbana)” post. I love using this site to sell my stuff, as it almost always sells so fast, and usually for around my asking price. Although, gosh, I sure do meet some of the most, ummm, interesting people sometimes.

Anyway, the reason that I am emailing you is because I am working on a paper for class about how different people in different parts of the country like to shop at different stores. I’ve never been to chambana before, so I have no idea what would be most popular there. So anyway, if you don’t mind, I am just wanting to know which of the 2 is your favorite:

1. Kmart (my favorite, lol)
2. Sears (my favorite, lol)

So, if you could please just go to my website right here, and just vote for your favorite; it would help me out soooo much!

Thanks for your time!
====================================
“There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience. – Anatole Broyard”

1. We do not have a K-Mart in Champaign. You can lodge a complaint with the city, but I suggest first time-traveling back to 1995, the last time K-Mart was remotely relevant.
2. K-Mart is owned by Sears.
3. They can’t both be your favorite. LOL.
4. What the hell is up with the random quote advocating child discipline from an obscure literary critic (by the way, Anatole Broyard’s Wikipedia page focuses not on his body of work but on his dubious ancestry, which likely speaks volumes of his significance to the world)? Don’t get me wrong, that sentiment is probably echoed by many K-Mart customers, but I don’t believe much more of a connection exists.
5. You really do meet the most, um, “interesting” “people” on Craigslist.