Dry Spell

Naturally, as soon as I started this blog, all prospects for employment screeched to a halt. I’m biding my time, waiting to hear back from the City (I anticipate that they might get around to letting me know if I have an interview sometime around 2013) and the community college; Craigslist has been uncooperatively refusing to put out either legitimate job postings or attention-worthy insanity, and monster is giving me a big fat zero on all accounts.

Additionally, although profit-making business ventures may not be making any progress, I will soon be restarting a very old non-business-related co-venture in The Flying Llama Reviews. I’ll be holding a zombie movie marathon this weekend and reviewing some or all of the films involved, so check back for a link once we get the site back up and rolling (I believe the last thing I had posted was a review of Studio 60, so it’s going to take some work to rid the place of archaeological dust).   Crumb cake to follow.

Ad du jour

From Craigslist (where else?):

Looking for gang members

Local author writing a book on everyday gang life and need some insight to diff types of gangs and wht it takes to become a member.

I could email this author and explain the common gang practice of “fluffy fingers.”  I’m really disappointed that I couldn’t find an adequate clip of the scene from The Office, but this here Urban Dictionary article more or less explains the concept.

“When somebody really gets in your face, you know, just, start tickling him, and he starts tickling you, and you know pretty soon you laughing and hugging.  Before you know it, you’ve forgotten the whole thing, and ya’ll can go to church together and get an ice cream cone.”

This was posted in the “domestic gigs” section, sandwiched between requests for “sugar mommas” and “classy escorts.”

I have to wonder if abbreviating “different” and “what” (seriously, that extra vowel was too much effort?) was an attempt on the author’s part to use “street lingo,” or if that spelling is genuine.  If the latter is the case, perhaps they need an editor more than a gang member.

That New Blog Smell

Okay, so I think I turned off comment moderation.  I’m still trying to get used to WordPress.  I dream of learning basic CSS so that I can justify paying the $14/year to play with the code; with the free version, I can’t change the background color without changing the entire template, and if I change the template, then I have to figure out how to re-add my custom header image.  I like that the header and the background color match right now, but the whole thing is very, very gray.  And considering the depressing nature of my subject matter, I’m concerned that the present color scheme may drive my readers (and myself) to write bad poetry and listen to angsty music from the mid-’90s.

Job Prediction of the Week: September 28, 2009

By the end of this week, I will go on one interview.  Its nature will be shrouded in mystery, but the promise of secretarial work and a respectable salary will entice me to once more don my gray polyester woman-suit and power shoes (they elevate me to 5’4″; I can nearly see over the tops of cars).  After an hour-long presentation involving twelve dry erase markers of varied color and size as well as several poorly performed magic tricks in possible violation of animal cruelty laws as applied to rodents, I will sign a contract and find myself working at the county sewage treatment plant.

Revelation: Craigslist Is for Scammers

After five months of searching for work, I feel I have exhausted all or most of the legitimate resources for job seekers.  Scanning the classifieds in my local paper had yielded surprisingly little within my areas of expertise (editing, office management, research, reception, and light technical support).  Monster.com had gotten me nearly entangled in a “legitimate” pyramid scheme.  Not knowing where else to turn, and not ready to sit out on the street corner with a sign reading “WILL EDIT FOR TATTOOS,” I turned to Craigslist.

Now, I am aware that Craigslist is a scary place full of horny malcontents and other variegated sleezeballs. However, I’d been having good luck getting responses and interviews from the people who were posting in the Writing/Editing jobs section, which made me believe that with a little discretion, I could avoid the pratfalls of online job searching. Unfortunately, the writing/editing ads are too scarce to sustain a thorough job search, so I turned to the Admin/Office section. Continue reading

The Saga of the Duck: How I Nearly Shilled for Aflac

It didn’t take me long after graduation to reach the level of desperation required to turn to monster.com.   I think I knew that nothing good would come of it, but I did it anyway.  I uploaded my resume and created an optimistic little profile, with the career goal of “Junior Editor.”  I was already shooting for the stars.

The next day, I received a phone call.

A very nice lady from Aflac said that her supervisor had seen something “interesting” in my monster profile, and wanted to schedule an interview.  For what position?  She couldn’t say, but she assured me that it would be an informative interview. Continue reading

Beginning All Over Again

I could try to hide it, but it won’t do any good.  I’ll just come out and say it.

You’re not my first blog.

I know, it may be hard to accept that there have been others.  Quite a few others.  Since I was just a teenager, in fact.  Sometimes more than one at the same time.  But nothing serious; I was young.  Now I’m older and more mature, and I have what it takes to make this work: something to write about and a good deal more spare time than I know what to do with.

I’ve tried reading, knitting, and cooking; I even picked up the old violin a few times.  But there’s just nothing to fill the void quite like attention from anonymous strangers (and my parents and boyfriend, unless they have something better to do or forget that I have this).

In sum: I am one of the many and well-documented scads of recent college graduates attempting to find work during a recession.  The catch (or “hook,” if you will) is that I’m trying to break into the already dying field of book publishing.  I have experience in the field, but so do legions of previously employed editors who are suddenly willing to relocate to my corner of the Midwest.  My dream is to be a freelance editor, and spend my days lounging in the bare minimum attire acceptable to answer the door for delivery persons while bathing in red ink, post-it notes, and that sticky goo for turning pages with a quickness.  I dream big.

I’ve only been out of college for five months, but I’ve already had run-ins with sketchy insurance companies and sketchier fake advertisements.  I’m working part time for a University technical support department, and I’ve started to freelance on the side.

So here I am, with my brand new Chicago Manual of Style and a heart ready to love again.  Will you take me?  I promise I won’t flake out after two months and abandon you.

Probably.

Unless I find a job.

Or something better to do.