Today I got turned down for my dream job after making it to the final two applicants on the short list. When I got the phone call from the CEO, he had a lot of very nice things to say about me that I really didn’t hear over the din of my falsely launched career crashing inelegantly into the ground.
Before I found about that I’d been invited to interview for this job, I had observed that this nearly year-long experiment into making my job hunt semi-public had taken a turn, such that I feared for the safety of my minuscule audience’s major veins and arteries. Things were looking unendurably bleak; this job was supposed to be a beacon, a sign that things were turning around. Now that I’ve fallen short, I’m expected to react with optimism to the fact that I made it as far as I did, but the truth is that knowing I missed a magnificent opportunity by a hair is infinitely more painful than a thousand impersonal rejections. The fact that a company I truly admired and was incredibly enthusiastic about working for liked me and wanted to work with me, but not quite enough to actually hire me, is pretty hard to recover from.
The point is, I can no longer even hope to be funny about what has turned into a complete reassessment of myself, my achievements, my career, and my life. At first I thought that the only way to approach this series of truly unfortunate events was by laughing at them, and back in the salad days of my near-miss with Aflac and rich kids and physical therapists attempting to hire me to plagiarize, it was possible to do so.
I want to thank all of you who have listened to me bitch and whine, and read along with my journey through this colossal waste of a year. Your words of encouragement have helped me to stay alive. I know I’m not alone in weathering this recession, or even just the post-grad blues, but I’m pretty sure we’re all going to make it out the other end more or less intact.
Finally, thank you to Nick. I know I’m not always the best at showing it in real life, but my appreciation for the support and love you’ve always shown me is endless. And when the shit really comes down, you’re always there with a cold frothy one and a hug.
Enough sappy bullshit. Everyone, enjoy your lives, and when I have something less morbid to write about, I’ll write about that.